Particularly Potato

Ahhh, hello all! My 19-day potato hiatus (potatus) is complete. Did you even know I was on one? Ha! Neither did I! This is exactly what happens when our lives get freaking busy! You’re probably here thinking um…speak for yourself??? You’re right, I should. I also feel the need to clarify, after mysteriously disappearing right during the transition into the new year, that no, the lingering effects of 6 hours of drinking, dancing, and singing at the top of my lungs in my apartment are NOT still in effect. Sure, maybe they were around day 2, 3, maybe even 4, but…oh well.

Also, If you haven’t noticed by now, I get a little wayward with my writing. It can probably be a bit confusing to follow along to at times. What I try very hard to do for myself as a writer is to always make sure my words can come together into somewhat of a cohesive end goal or moment. But…sometimes that’s hard to do as I just let my fingers glide across the keyboard, and after 19 days away, it’s even harder.

By the way, this post is not for me to my celebrate my drunken sloppiness from the comfort of my home while in leggings to ring in the new year. Really though…I tried to play some WII resort (outdated, ik ik), and the results of that are NOT something I care to recreate! However, what I want to do by sharing this is to tell you that these moments are okay! And they’re not just the moments where we’re making small talk with a friend, or going on a walk, or going window shopping, they’re like the REAL real moments. The moments where you let your flippin hair down, you bust out those dance moves, you sing along to your favorite songs at the top of your lungs, you make a delicious and non-health conscious meal, you pour that second or third glass of champagne and take those tequila shots, you wear that shirt you want to show off in and you do it because YOU look good in it and you won’t dare let anyone insert an opinion otherwise. The moments that you create and live in without a care in the world because you’re YOU, and you are awesome, and you are living life to the fullest extent that you can.

The priority of these moments is different for each and every person. The reason I think it’s incredibly important for me is because, as an anxiety potato, I’ve NEVER been good at letting out the inner “real moments” me. Sometimes, as somebody with social anxiety, it’s even easier to hide behind a bottle to help me open up and show others my real moments. And I don’t want that to be a secret. I want to share that. Sometimes, shortcuts are easier, and they’re not always the best decisions to others, but they are so important for us to live our real lives.

My overall point in saying this is that we all have our real moments, and they’re all special, unique, and important in their own way. I don’t want to live my life feeling like I need to have a drink to be in a social setting to alter my choices, just like I don’t want any of you amazing individuals to live your lives taking even one moment to let somebody else impact how you live your real moments or what real choices you make.

We’re all humans. We’re all here with a united goal – to live our lives. Let’s make sure we live them with our real moments and support each other along the way.

Take care everyone!

New Year, New Potato?

Hi guys, I’m back again. I just wrote yesterday, but this is the last day of the year, and that is a huge deal for me and for a lot of us. I couldn’t miss my opportunity to share some of my thoughts on what this thing called 2020 did to us.

It all started in March…working my full time retail job with crazy hours, 5 days a week like I had been for over a year. One day, news comes out that there’s this sickness and it’s kinda spreading? Okay. I kept going to work with everyone because the news is always negative like that, right? The next week is like oh, wow, our hours are getting reduced?? What?! And just a day or two later I was told okay, tomorrow is actually your last day at work for the foreseeable future. I went to work that next day living in this weird fog. I walked out those store doors at 7 pm on a clear evening, and as I went to my car I thought wow, I have not felt this level of uncertainty in an extremely long time, and I don’t know how to process this.

Then ensued a couple months of no job, trying to find and understand my purpose, moving to another state, and lacking a routine in every sense of the word. And I know I am not alone.

Now, I also know that COVID-19 started in 2019, hence the name, but of course it didn’t rock our worlds until early-ish 2020. But these last 9-10 months have seemed like 9-10 years. The world and people have changed because of the pandemic. People are distant and nervous to be around each other, actively making sure that if someone gets too close, they move away to maintain their distance. Relationships have been severed, whether it’s by not being able to see a loved one, or by being around them so much while working remotely that you go near-bonkers.

So basically, what does this last year look like for the anxiety potato? Well, I can tell you it hasn’t been so good for me. As someone who thrives on consistency and patterns in my routines while also requiring a heads up for everything because I hate the unknown, this year has been absolute potato water. I have struggles mentally, physically, and emotionally to stay focused and consistent on what’s important and healthy, and by golly, I have had some really roundabout ways of achieving my goals this year. Ultimately, they haven’t all been healthy or good for me, but what I can say is this…

We Flipping Made It!

We made it through our anxiety, our depression, our stress, our unease, our relationships, our jobs, our schoolwork…we made it through everything. And it wasn’t easy, and going into 2021 isn’t gonna be a potato walk. But it’s going to be better, and no matter how each one of us guided our paths through 2020, I am extremely proud to go into the new year with all of you (at a cool 6 feet apart of course). So bring on the safe and socially-distanced celebrations, snacks, and bubbly champagne, because this won’t be the year I’m making a resolution.

This will simply be the year I am celebrating being alive.


My First Potato Post

Hi everyone! After looking at my “About Me” blip, I’m sure you have some questions. Maybe you’re wondering “Why is this woman trying to write a freaking blog based around a potato that has anxiety??” That is a valid question. You also may be wondering “Why does she feel like a starchy vegetable, and should I reach out to make sure she’s okay?” That would also be a valid question. So this first post is to provide you with some answers!

I’ll begin by saying this: feeling potato-ish is a real and legitimate feeling. Look at it this way. A potato that comes straight from the ground is earthy, dirt-covered, raw, and inconsumable at that stage. Even when you wash it, the likelihood that you will bite into the whole raw potato and eat it like this is small, and if you do eat raw potatoes, there’s a good chance you don’t do it too often or only if you have heartburn! But heartburn aside, what I’m trying to say is that we look at the potato at face value. In its original, natural state, it doesn’t seem to have that much to offer. However, this vegetable/starch can turn into the most amazing foods and sides and has the ability to be prepared in a ton of different ways. This can mean mashed, baked, cooked, oil fried, air fried, roasted, slow-cookered…and so much more!

Now, when we as individuals are going through anxiety, stress, or a negative emotion, we may have a difficult time properly analyzing who we really are to ourselves and to others. Speaking from experience, I have had many mental health days that were extremely challenging, and I still have them to this day. This temporarily makes me feel different or weird about myself, sometimes also making me wonder who I really am while I’m feeling inconsistent emotions or thoughts. For me, this often leads into a rapid spiral of overthinking or cycling on negative thoughts. This in turn makes me feel bad about myself. We as humans are really good about doing that in general – letting our thoughts go on this crazy roller coaster, and suddenly when we stop, we are still spinning because we have not allowed our mind to channel those thoughts in a mindful manner.

Now we put it all together. When we feel at our mental and emotional worst, and sometimes during this our physical worst as well, we might feel like a potato in its natural state. I liken this to the feeling when you are having a challenging mental health day and you decide to look in the mirror and criticize yourself – yeah, that’s not a good feeling. We may look into this mirror and see what we think is a raw, undesirable potato looking back at us. I’m here to tell you that this is NOT your real potato. Maybe you’re actually a steaming bowl of mashed potatoes with melted butter, or crispy fries right out of the oven, or maybe you’re a baked potato loaded with bacon, cheese, and sour cream. Whatever it may be, your inner potato has so much more to offer than what you may think it does if you are viewing your potato surface level – as a raw and unprepared one.

Now, if somehow I put anxiety and the potato together in a relatable or understandable way, I’m writing for you. I’m also writing for me. I’m writing for both of us and for anyone who wants to take the time to read about what goes on in the life of myself as an anxious potato and share in the content, stories, laughs, sadnesses, ups, and downs that go with it.

In turn, I hope this blog and its future content gives us all a stronger glimpse into the state of our true potatoes. 🙂